She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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