i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
