I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
