You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
