Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize