Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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