so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Enjoy the penises
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
