She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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