TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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