If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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