why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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