Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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