remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
