im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
