Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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