Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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