He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
