I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
