I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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