I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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