I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
