so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
