It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
