Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
