Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
