it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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