If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
