We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
