FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
