Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
