Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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