so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
