Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Hippo gnu deer
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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