You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
