I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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