I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
