he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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