I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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