Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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