Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
