the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
