If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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