so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
