i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
