Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
