Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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