So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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