So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
