Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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