just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
