This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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