its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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