i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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