she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
