it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize