yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she peed on how many people?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
