The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
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I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
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You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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