I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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