Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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