Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
