I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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