The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
