it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize