The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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