smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
