I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
